“Twas the Night Before Christmas and”…

I’m sorry Clement C. Moore, but I’m calling you out. With all due respect, there is NO way it was the night before Christmas AND “all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse”.

Uh, uh. No. Way. I’m not buying it.

And “the children were nestled, all snug in their beds while visions of sugar plums danced in their heads”…
Nope. I call B.S. Anyone who has young children knows this is NOT the way it looks nor sounds on Christmas Eve.

Here’s how it REALLY goes down on the night before Christmas:

The children are NOT nestled all snug in their beds. Rather they are constantly coming out of their beds with the following quotes:

“I’m thirsty”
“Was Santa here yet?”
“I need to go to the bathroom”
“Did Santa come yet?”
“Is it morning yet?”
“Where is Santa now?”
“I forgot to give you a kiss goodnight”
“Did Santa come yet?”
“I heard something on the roof”
“Was Santa here?”
“I’m hungry”
“Can I get a drink?”

And “Mamma in her kerchief, and I in my cap, had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap”. Nope. I don’t think so. There is no parent who is sleeping on Christmas Eve.

Here’s what’s really happening:

Prepping food
Pre-cooking food
Wrapping presents
Assembling presents
Removing the elves
Swearing. Lots and lots of swearing.

So yeah, there may have been “such a clatter”, but it’s happening inside the house, NOT out.
While I appreciate the romantic notion that all was peaceful and quiet on the night before Christmas, let’s be realistic; There is NOTHING peaceful about it. It’s noisy. It’s mayhem. It’s chaos.

If you were referring to the night AFTER Christmas, well then, that’d be more believable. Sheer exhaustion takes hold and so yes, “not a creature is stirring, not even a mouse” and yes, “the children are nestled, all snug in their beds” for no one can move after 36 hours of no sleep.

Of course, if a woman had written the poem, I wonder how different a picture we’d have?!

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